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Usually, when people think about bonding they usually think about people drinking together or engaged in some sort of group activity. Bonding is really one of those things that can take a wide variety of forms. You can bond when you’re both in pain; you can bond while you are going through a really tough time together; you can bond in the middle of a rainstorm and you are stuck together under some sort of shelter. In other words, bonding really transcends all sorts of social interaction and forms. Instead, it involves signals that you send to each other that communicate to one another in the clearest terms possible that you occupy the same moment in time. Since you occupy the same space, you can be honest with each other; you can connect based on your vulnerability; and you can choose to see what’s familiar, similar, and likeable in each other.
This is very important stuff because if you learn how to bond, and you will be able to pick a part of its elements and replicate them wherever you are at whatever time you choose. If you want to be a more persuasive person, learn how to bond with people. If you want your opinions to carry a lot more weight in whatever social circles you run in, learn how to bond with people. Bonding enables you to turbo charge your social skills. A lot of people think that social skills really just involves knowing the right way to say hello, goodbye, deal with people, as so as to minimize conflicts. Well, that is a significant part of it, it by no means tells the whole story. There are wide range of skillsets that involve optimal social skills and bonding is one of them. Ultimately, when you’re bonding with somebody, you create mutual levels of comfort. This is not a one-shot thing – it grows over time. In fact, if you know how to play it right, every word comes out of your mouth, every signal the other person sends leads to higher and higher levels of mutual comfort.
I raise this with you because anything, any activity can be a bonding experience. Something as simple as choosing ejuice options can be a bonding experience. Why? Well, when somebody is going through different premium ejuice flavors they bought online, they are actually revealing certain important clues about their personal values, their personality, and who they see themselves to be. This is not an empty detail; this is not garbage information; this actually can help you become more intimate with somebody. I’m not talking about intimate in terms of romantic terms – intimate in terms of truly knowing another person. You see the essence of real friendship involves intimate knowledge of each other’s vulnerabilities, values, hopes, wishes, dreams. These are not all pleasant; these are not all details that you can randomly share. When you bond with each other over something seemingly innocent like choosing e-juice flavors, things start to come out. And the more you pay attention to the other person, the more you let them know without, you know, slapping them in the face with it, the more they feel that they matter to you.
I don’t know about you but the last time I checked, most people would like to feel that they matter, and most people would like to feel that they are appreciated. When you go over certain questions as you choose e-liquid options together, you remember certain details about that person. When you connect the dots and you tell the person your understanding of who they are based on their preferences, they can’t help but sit up and pay attention. They are struck by the conclusion that you are actually paying serious attention to them, but you think that they are worth truly knowing. At least in their mind, you study them enough to try to get them. Most people appreciate this, because hey, let’s face it, we live in an anonymous world very easy for us to feel underappreciated, it’s very easy for us to feel anonymous. One of the most crushing realizations can get is the sinking feeling that you’re just another face in the crowd – when you die, nobody would really care. So, when people sit up and pay attention, and make you feel in no uncertain terms that you matter, it makes you feel good. This really gets the bonding dynamic going, in fact it turbo charges it.
So, do yourself a big favor, bond over e-liquid or vape juice decisions. Whatever details it may be, regardless of how seemingly superficial, or small, and significant, they can provide great opportunities for building intimate eye to eye realizations that can go quite deep.